The Girl Marauder
by AwryFlower
Summary: What if Peter was never friends with the Marauders but in Slytherin instead, what if there was a girl Marauder instead. This is the story of Melanie Noir. No beta, may have grammar or spelling mistakes. I own nothing. R&R!


**What if Peter was never friends with the Marauders but in Slytherin instead, what if there was a girl Marauder instead. This is the story of Onyx Electra Noir. R&R! P.S. This doesn't have a beta for it, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes!**

Melanie's POV

"MELANIE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW! WE'VE GOT TO LEAVE TO GET THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS NOW OR YOU'LL MISS IT!"

There's my dearest mother calling on me. I hate that woman, she'll be the death of me I swear!

"COMING!" I holler back.

I grabbed my trunk and dragged it down the grand staircase into the entrance hall.

"Come on, we're apparating!" said my mother.

I just nodded and grabbed her arm.

"POP!"

We landed in the station on Platform 9 & ¾, Hogwarts Express was standing there in all its glory, puffing out steam. I heard the whistle sound, time to get on the train apparently.

"You better be in Slytherin, Ravenclaw at the worst. Don't you dare come in yellow and black, I will disown you immediately if you do." My mother said to me before pushing me toward the steam train.

I just walked away towards the train. I struggled to get my trunk up onto the train, my mother couldn't be bothered to perform a weightless charm on the damn thing so it was rather heavy.

"Hey! You need a hand there!"

I looked up, there was a boy with chin length black hair standing in front of me, his face right in front of mine.

"Eh, yeah, thanks!" I replied, backing off a little so his face wasn't as close.

I took one side of the trunk and the boy took the other side.

"And up!" he said and we both lifted the trunk.

"Thanks!" I said, "You wanna find a compartment with me, I'd rather sit with someone I sorta know then complete strangers."

"But you don't know me." He replied, confused.

"Oh I met you at one of those bloody Pureblood balls! You're a Black aren't you, my dearest mother pointed the Blacks out to me along with the Malfoys and the Lestranges."

"Oh! I remember you now, vaguely though, you're a Noir right?"

"Yup!" I chirped.

"Let's find a compartment now, hmm?"

"Right, compartment, smart idea!"

They walk down between all the carriages till they find one with only a messy, black haired boy in it.

"Hey can we sit here, don't wanna sit with some Slytherins!" Black asked the boy.

"Sure, I wouldn't either!" said the boy, "They call me James Potter, glad to be of service!"

I had to stifle a chuckle at that introduction.

"Sirius Black, please to meet you James!"

"Hello, remember me? Sirius!"

"Oh and James this is... Damn I didn't actually get your full name!"

"Oh yeah, the name's Noir, Melanie Electra Noir. I have an insane urge to pull out a gun and start shooting people just now, hehe!"

"What's a gun?" asked Sirius.

They both looked at me.

"Oh it's a muggle weapon, you kill people with it!"

"Okaaaay... And how do you know this, you're a pureblood!" asked Sirius.

"Cause I hate my parents so I tried infuriating them by watching muggle movies, it worked buuuut they didn't disown me so boo hoo" I said.

"Well ok then!"

Then there was a knock on the door.

"May we sit here?" a red-headed girl with emerald green eyes asked.

"Sure!" I chirped.

The girl came in with a greasy haired boy with pale, sallow skin and a hooked nose.

No one spoke for a few minutes.

"You better be in Slytherin" the greasy haired boy said to the red-head.

"What? Slytherin! Who would want to go there?" exclaimed James.

"Both our families were in Slytherin!" said Sirius.

"Oh, and I thought you guys were ok!" James joked.

"Well where do you want to go then" The greasy haired boy sneered.

James mimed lifting a sword into the air, "Gryffindor, where the brave dwell at heart!"

"Well if you'd rather be brawny than brainy!" the greasy haired boy sneered back.

"Well where are you going then, seeing as you're neither!" I retort.

Sirius and James laughed at that one, though the red-head didn't seem impressed.

"Come on Severus, let's leave these idiots to whatever they were doing before."

"Ooh Snivellus!" Sirius called after them.

As soon as they had closed the compartment door, we all burst into fits of laughter. But the funniest thing was Sirius' laugh, it was so high pitched! It sounded like a girly giggle.

And that fact just made me laugh harder.

After about ten minutes of laughter, we gained enough control of ourselves to stop laughing.

"You laugh like a girl Sirius!" I comment.

"And you have a bloody witch's cackle!" he retorted.

"There's nothing bloody about it!" I smirk.

Sirius pouts, I just keep smirking.

"Urgh! The puppy dog face never works on girls!" groaned Sirius.

"Lemme rephrase that Sirius, smart girls can resist it, stupid girls will fall for it." I said.

"So my mother's a smart girl?"

"No your mother is insane so nothing will work on her unless it's the Dark Arts" I corrected.

James just looked completely baffled, "Huh?"

"How articulate of you Jamiekins!" I mocked.

"Hey! Don't call me that!"

"Aww, you ruin my fun Jamiekins!" I pouted.

James just pouted and crossed his arms.

"Isn't it weird how a conversation can go so far off it's starting point!" Sirius observed.

"Yup, you just made it go further off!" I comment.

"Oh well!"

We just sat there and talked until the lady with cart of food came round and asked us if we wanted any food off the trolley.

I jumped up and got a pile of chocolate frogs, two pumpkin pasties and a liquorish wand.

Sirius probably got all of the remaining cauldron cakes and a liquorish wand.

James got a handful of sugar quills and a liquorish wand.

But we didn't get the liquorish wands to eat; we got them so we could have a fake duel without getting into trouble!

"STUPEFY!" James called.

"RICTUMSEMPRA!" I call back, "Hey Sirius, lets gang up on Jamiekins!"

"Ok, TANGRATELLA!" Sirius called, pointing his liquorish wand towards James.

"EXPELLIARAMUS!" James shouts, "Hey no fair ganging up on me!"

"AGUAMENTI!" I retort.

Someone yanks the door open to compartment.

"Ok cease fire for a mo please!" the boy asked.

"Ok! What do you want?" James asked.

"Can I join in, my compartment is full of Ravenclaws and they're getting really annoying!" the boy asked.

"Sure, but you need a liquorish wand and you need to tell us your name!" I said.

"I've got a liquorish wand and my name is Remus Lupin."

"Cool! My name Sirius Black."

"James Potter, a pleasure to be of service!"

"Noir, Melanie Electra Noir!"

"James Bond?" Remus asked.

"Yup! Urgh I really want to shoot someone just now!" I replied.

"Well you've got a wand don't you?" said Remus.

"Better idea!" I ran to my trunk and yanked the lid up, "Ah ha!"

I pulled out a fake gun, "Now I can shoot people!"

Remus backed up a little, "Please don't shoot me! I'm too young to die!"

"Don't worry Remus, I've got another one. You can have that one and we can go about shooting people!" I chirped.

Remus still looked worried so I muttered in his ear, "Its fake stupid!"

Remus calmed down after that and nodded his head.

"Perfect! Prepare to die!" I cackled and tossed the gun to Remus.

"Hands up!" Remus said.

"Did you or did you not steal one of my chocolate frogs?" I asked the two boys without guns.

"No I didn't!" James called.

Sirius just shook his head.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

They both nodded.

"Hmmm, I think you're...GUILTY!" I called.

"Prepare to die for your crimes!" Remus said.

"Nooooooo!" Sirius wailed.

"And fire!" I called to Remus.

"BANG!"

"Noooooo! Wait I'm alive?" said Sirius.

Me and Remus were on the floor laughing our heads off whilst James and Sirius were standing there in confusion.

Eventually Remus and I regained enough control of ourselves to explain to James and Sirius that the guns were fake.

"Did you know that it's supposedly not the guns that kill people but that people kill people?" commented Remus.

"Well there's a flaw in that statement. You see I don't think that if you stood in the middle of a street and yelled bang that you would kill too many people so I think the guns help!" I retort.

"Well, you might give someone a heart attack!" Remus smirked.

"Come on, we should probably get changed. We'll be at Hogwarts soon." said Sirius.

"I'll get changed in the bathroom or with some other girls." I said.

"Ok!" the boys chorused.

I grabbed my robes and left the compartment.

"There's gotta be bathroom somewhere down here." I muttered to myself, "Ah ha, an empty compartment, perfect!"

I walked into the compartment and quickly got changed. As I was leaving, I bumped into a really tall dude.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed.

"It's ok, no harm done!" said the boy.

"What your name?" I asked.

"Amos Diggory. And you are?"

"Noir, Melanie Electra Noir!" I replied, "And here comes that urge again!"

"What urge?" Amos asked.

"The urge to shoot someone with a gun!" I replied.

"Okay then, bye!" Amos said then walked away.

"I think I scared him off! Hehe, I'm a little tea pot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout, when I have heated up, hear me shout, tip me up and pour me out!" I sang whilst skipping down the corridor, back to the compartment.

"So let's all aim to be in Gryffindor ok?" I heard coming from the compartment.

"You better be ready cause I'm coming in!" I called, opening the door.

"Argh my eyes, my innocent eyes!" I wailed.

Sirius' pants were lying in the middle of the compartment.

"Wait, are they, unicorns?" I asked.

"No, of course not!" Sirius replied, too quickly though.

"Lemme see, James I don't wanna touch them so I need you to get them for me!" I asked, well demanded but oh well.

"But..." James was silenced by the look I was giving him.

James grabbed the pants from the middle of the floor.

"Awwww, they are unicorns, with rainbows too! How cute! Are you sure of your sexuality Sirius, or are you actually a five year old girl stuck in an eleven year old boy's body?" I snicker.

"I'll have you know that these pants are very manly!" Sirius scowled, "And I am very sure of my sexuality and gender!" he added as an afterthought.

I patted Sirius' head and cooed, "Of course you are, how silly of me to think differently"

James laughs, seeing Sirius' indignant expression, "Its true!" Huffed Sirius.

"Whatever you say Sirius" Remus sighed, grinning.

Sirius pouted, "You're all so mean, ganging up on me, it's not fair."

I grin and roll my eyes, sitting back down on the seat, "I better not find any more of your clothes."

Remus grinned, "You just jinxed yourself Melanie."

I pout and sigh dramatically, "If only boys were cleaner"

Remus laughed along with James and Sirius, who had decided to stop sulking.

The train starts to slow down as they reach Hogsmeade.

"We're here..."

**So, whatcha think of it? Was it good, bad, horrible, awesome, fan-fabby-tastic? Hit that little button with 'review' on it and you can tell me what you think of it! I will try to update quickly but I don't really have the time at the moment. What pairings should there be? Except from Lily and James that is...**


End file.
